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One cadaver, two cadaver, three cadaver, four...
Ever had one of those days? A surprise visit from her father--who's on the run from the law--has given Carlotta Wren a lot to think about. Should she join her former fiancé, Peter, in proving her father is innocent? If she does, are her body-moving days over?
And then...
A close friend's behavior begins to spin out of control...
The cops turn up the heat on her father's case...
Carlotta discovers that her brother Wesley's gambling debts are child's play compared to his new vice...
And the Charmed Killer, a serial murderer, unleashes his wrath on Atlanta.
Now the bodies are piling up--and Carlotta's father is the number one suspect!
Look for all the books in Stephanie Bond's Body Movers series:
PARTY CRASHERS (prequel)
BODY MOVERS2 BODIES FOR THE PRICE OF 1
3 MEN AND A BODY4 BODIES AND A FUNERAL5 BODIES TO DIE FOR6 KILLER BODIES6 1/2 BODY PARTS (novella)7 BRIDES FOR 7 BODIES
- Sales Rank: #25275 in eBooks
- Published on: 2013-06-17
- Released on: 2013-06-17
- Format: Kindle eBook
About the Author
Stephanie Bond was five years deep into a corporate career in computer programming and pursuing an MBA at night when an instructor remarked she had a flair for writing and suggested she submit material to academic journals. But Stephanie was more interested in writing fiction—more specifically, romance and mystery novels. After writing in her spare time for two years, she sold her first manuscript, a romantic comedy, to Harlequin Books. After selling ten additional projects to two publishers, she left her corporate job to write fiction full-time. To-date, Stephanie has more than sixty published novels to her name, including the popular BODY MOVERS humorous mystery series. For more information, visit www.stephaniebond.com.
Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
Carlotta Wren skidded onto the sales floor of the Neiman Marcus at Lenox Square in Atlanta soaked in a flop sweat. Late on her first day back—minus ten points.
"Welcome back."
Carlotta turned and manufactured a smile for Lindy Russell, her boss, who was standing with arms crossed. "Thank you. It's good to be back."
Lindy pursed her mouth. "Too bad you couldn't make this morning's staff meeting."
Carlotta's smile wavered, but she massaged the flexible cast on her arm. "Sorry. This morning was the first time I'd driven in a while, and my car battery was dead." She didn't think it would help to mention that the MARTA trains were being single-tracked for construction. Still, she decided not to dwell on transportation challenges since her recent medical leave had come on the heels of a two-week suspension to "get her personal issues worked out."
Personal issues such as her brother's gambling debts, her ruined credit, the fact that her parents were long-lost fugitives…and oh, she'd been entangled in a couple of murders as a by-product of her part-time hobby as a body mover for the morgue.
"Things happen," Lindy conceded. "Is your arm healing well?"
Carlotta flexed the fingers of the arm that had been broken when a killer had pushed her over the balcony of the Fox Theatre, where she'd dangled with her skirt around her waist for all the attendees of an Elton John concert to see. "Almost as good as new." Though, at the moment it was throbbing like a toothache.
Sympathy crossed Lindy's face. "I can't tell you how sorry I am about Michael."
Michael Lane, aka the person who'd pushed her over the balcony, had been Carlotta's former coworker and friend. He'd also turned out to have some very dark secrets.
"Me, too," Carlotta murmured, wishing her heart could be splinted like her arm had been.
"I don't suppose you've heard from him?"
She shook her head. "I was told he's in the psych ward at Northside Hospital until he's deemed competent to stand trial."
"So terrible." Lindy sighed, then checked the clipboard she held. "Well, life goes on, doesn't it?"
Carlotta blinked. It was true, but still…
"I'm glad you could come back in time for the Eva McCoy appearance." Lindy swept her arm toward the small dais that had been erected on the sales floor with several rows of cordoned-off chairs for seating.
Olympian Eva McCoy's return to her hometown had been hyped on all the media outlets for weeks. "That's today?"
Lindy arched an eyebrow.
Carlotta backpedaled. "I mean… that's today."
"Since you missed the staff meeting, here's the info." Lindy handed over a memo. "It's going to be a mob scene so I'll need all my best employees on the floor."
Pleasure suffused Carlotta's chest—her history of being a consistent top salesperson still meant something.
"And here's one now," Lindy said, looking past Carlotta's shoulder. Carlotta turned and swallowed a curse when she saw Patricia Alexander, aka Stepford Salesclerk, complete with rounded-collar suit, helmet hair and strand of pearls, walking toward them.
The blonde flashed a waxy smile. "I'd heard you were coming back, Carlotta, but when I didn't see you at this morning's staff meeting, I assumed that something else had happened. You're so… accident prone."
Carlotta's mouth tightened.
"I'll let you two catch up for a couple of minutes before the crowd arrives," Lindy said, handing them each a roll of tickets to be passed out to customers who wanted to meet the guest of honor. Then she gave Carlotta a pointed look. "I tend to agree with Patricia. There's going to be a lot of security on hand today, so try not to do anything that might draw extra attention." Lindy walked off, leaving Carlotta properly chastised—in front of her nemesis.
"Ouch," Patricia chirped.
Carlotta was able to hold her tongue because she knew she deserved far worse from her boss than a reprimand for all her… mishaps. Determined to get along with Lindy's new pet employee, she turned toward Patricia. "I suppose you took Michael's place in Shoes?"
"Yes. It's such a shame, isn't it, that he turned out to be totally insane?"
Carlotta bit her tongue.
"So, I'll bet you're happy to be back to work," Patricia offered. "You were probably bored to tears doing nothing all day."
"I didn't exactly do nothing," Carlotta muttered, although she couldn't exactly tell Patricia about the road trip she'd taken with Coop for a VIP body pickup, the unexpected appearance of her father, and the capture of a murderer while she'd been "incapacitated," on leave with a broken arm. Instead she pasted on a smile. "But I am happy to be back in my element."
Patricia made rueful noises in her throat. "I hope you had time to rest, you poor thing. The heartbreak you've been through the past decade—you must be close to the brink of insanity yourself."
Carlotta's hands fisted. Patricia moved in the Buckhead social circles, so she knew the sordid Wren family history—that ten years ago Carlotta's father had been accused of stealing from his investment clients and had skipped town rather than face a trial, with her mother in tow, abandoning Carlotta and her younger brother to fend for themselves.
At the thought of her brother, Wesley, Carlotta stole a glance at her watch. He should be arriving at the Fulton County D.A.'s office right about now, hopefully working out a plea agreement, testifying against one of his loan sharks in return for reduced charges for his part in the attempted theft of a body. His attorney, Liz, was hopeful that Wesley would get off with having his community service sentence from a prior computer hacking charge extended. But Carlotta was worried that even Liz Fuck-Me Fischer wouldn't be able to parlay enough sexual favors to make it happen. Carlotta had wanted to go with Wesley today, but he'd refused, saying it was something he needed to take care of himself. It might have been the moment she'd been most proud of him.
Except for the fact that he could be sitting in a jail cell before her shift ended.
What would she do for bail money? And what if Wesley didn't get out this time?
Patricia waved her hand in front of Carlotta's face. "Did I lose you?"
"No," she said, squaring her shoulders. "And I'm coping with everything just fine."
Patricia leaned in. "If you need something to take the edge off, I can spot you some antianxiety meds."
"No, thank you," Carlotta said through gritted teeth, although beneath the cast her arm was hot with pain. Knowing it would really hurt, though, if she slugged the woman, Carlotta changed the subject. "Looks like we're going to have a big crowd today for Eva McCoy."
"Yeah, speaking of crazy…. The woman wins a marathon after a bout of food poisoning, gives all the credit to a lucky charm bracelet and suddenly charm bracelets are selling like mad." Patricia shook her head, apparently bemused with the trend.
Carlotta smirked. Her coworker was only frustrated because she wasn't working in Jewelry, earning commissions on the trinkets that Eva would be promoting.
Customers were already gathering in the area of the dais where posters featured the smiling, fit Olympian with a gold medal around her neck and a "Lucky Charm Bracelet" on her slender wrist.
Carlotta and Patricia positioned themselves in front of the GET YOUR TICKETS TO MEET EVA McCOY HERE sign and began handing out tickets, and directing early comers where to sit or stand.
"So," Patricia asked without making eye contact. "How are you and Peter Ashford?"
Choosing her words carefully, Carlotta said, "Peter and I are old friends."
"So I've heard. Tracey Tully Lowenstein belongs to my club. She said that you and Peter used to be quite the item before… your family issues."
"That was a long time ago," Carlotta murmured.
"Tracey intimated that you two have picked up where you left off."
"Tracey talks too much," Carlotta said pointedly.
"I think it's nice that you and Peter have each other," Patricia said. "You can support each other. You know, with his wife having been murdered, and then all that you've gone through." The blonde winced. "Wait a minute. Weren't you a suspect in her murder? Gee, that has to be a little awkward."
"Not at all," Carlotta said pleasantly.
Patricia sniffed and turned her back.
Carlotta shot daggers into the woman's bony shoulder blades. In truth, Carlotta was still wrestling with her recent decision to cozy up to her former fiancé. When her father had walked up to her, unannounced and in disguise, at a rest area a few weeks ago in Florida, he'd told her to stay close to Peter—that since Peter worked for Mashburn & Tully Investments where her father had once been a partner, he was in the best position to help prove Randolph Wren's innocence. Until that moment, Carlotta would have sworn that if her long-lost father had ever approached her, she would slap him, kick his shins, spit in his face and call the police. Instead she'd been gelatinous and cooperative and… hopeful.
The fact that he made her want to believe that he'd been framed for his white collar crime made her feel used all over again.
Her father was using her—and she was using Peter. Since his wife's untimely death, Peter had made no secret that he wanted to get back with Carlotta. He'd even recovered the Cartier engagement ring that she'd pawned, and he'd had a diamond added on either side of the original solitaire. He was holding it for her, hoping she'd agree to pick up where they'd left off years ago. Just as if he hadn't ripped out her heart by turning his back on her when she needed him most.
But he was trying to make amends, she conceded. He'd helped Wesley out of a couple of scrapes and continued to be attentive to her. A couple of weeks ago, though, after she'd returned from Florida, his patience had worn thin. He'd been offered a position in New York and had been going to take it, unless she could make room for him in her life. She couldn't risk him leaving, on the chance that her father might call or put in another appearance soon, in need of Peter's inside access. So she'd told Peter ...
Most helpful customer reviews
5 of 5 people found the following review helpful.
Murder, Action and Suspense Galore!
By Michele L.
4 BODIES AND A FUNERAL is a fast-moving, densely-plotted murder mystery that is full of fun, wit and sizzling escapades. Carlotta Wren, a feisty, sassy heroine, is at it again; moving bodies at night and working as a top saleswoman by day at Neiman Marcus. A murderer is at large and dead bodies are found everywhere. In addition, three guys are vying for Carlotta's attention and her brother Wesley can't keep out of trouble with the law. Things heat up between her and Jack, who is an undercover cop, when he moves in with her to keep her safe from the killer. I love Jack's super macho attitude with his sexy killer moves. Stephanie Bond deftly depicts the emotions of each character and the attraction they feel for one another. I could feel their raw passions as the steam rose from the pages. Jack is my favorite character of all the guys but each man has a unique quality to which I could connect.
Carlotta also must decide if she still loves her ex-fiancé' Peter or not. The mysterious and handsome Coop, her body mover associate, has problems of his own. She offers to help him out. Her ever-elusive dad makes a sneak appearance and persuades her to stay close to Peter who might be useful in turning up information on who framed him many years ago. Twists and turns galore and gripping suspense with a pleasing love story at its core, fill the pages in this new novel! If you like a sharp, sassy, suspenseful read, then place 4 BODIES AND A FUNERAL at the top of your `to buy' list! Stephanie Bond's novels in the BODY MOVER series are so addictive that they are like a scrumptious chocolate cake. After the first bite, you're hooked!
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful.
Another fun entry in the Body Movers series
By SusieJ
I'm really enjoying this series. It's a combination of mystery and romance. It's not super serious, so it's a good one to read if you're looking for something fun and lighthearted. It's well written, so I care about the characters and the mysteries (there are several storylines going) keep my interest. The characters are kind of quirky, which I really appreciate. The storylines continue from book to book. Start reading from book one and read them in order. Books 4, 5, and 6 form a trilogy. Much of the mystery is NOT wrapped up at the end of this book, so go ahead and order 5 and 6 at the same time. You'll want to start them as soon as you finish 4. There's actually a "prequel" to the series. It's called Party Crashers. So after you finish 6, check it out to see how it all began. It introduces the characters that become the leads in the Body Movers series.
It's not War and Peace, but it's good escapist literature if you're looking for something light and enjoyable. It would be a good beach read.
5 of 6 people found the following review helpful.
4 Bodies and a Funeral by Stephanie Bond
By jjmachshev
Bond, Stephanie Bond that is. She's back with book four in her 'Body Movers' series and "4 Bodies and a Funeral" is just as funny as the previous three. Filled with everything from innuendo to slapstick, the heroine, Carlotta, has to try and figure out which man is the right one for her while dodging murder attempts, suspects, and a brother who's developing some VERY bad habits.
Carlotta is finally back to work and her first day is a doozy. It seems the current Olympic champion credits her charm bracelet with giving her the strength to win the gold and she's making an appearance where Carlotta works! Good news-Carlotta should be able to make some serious commission on all the shoppers packing the store. Bad news-when she tries to prevent an attack on the champ, she ends up face-down in a BIG cake. Worst news-the charm bracelet went missing and now there's a wacko serial killer putting charms in the mouths of his victims...and Carlotta and her brother both are considered suspects!
Another fun read to enjoy as you snicker and snort your way through Carlotta's mayhem-filled life. If nothing else, you can always be thankful you're not Carlotta.
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